The new normal

I've started back to work. I know...I also thought this day would never come. But, here it is. I really can't describe what I'm feeling about going back. Overwhelming I can't imagine how women leave their baby at 12 and sometimes 8 weeks old in the US to go back to work. I think of the stress that would have put on me and our family, and I just can't believe it. I now know the meaning of "you do what you have to do", and I know these women make it work. At 12 weeks I was suffering from sleep deprivation, a cranky/fussy baby, and hormonal swings that would scare everyone. I don't know how I would have gone back to work then.

Luckily, I didn't have to. I'm here in Canada, and I have fully enjoyed my 13 months off. I do enjoy some aspects of my job. I enjoy when I am challenged and faced with solving a client's problem when a new and creative solution is needed that the benefits and pension carriers think can't be done simply because it hasn't been done before. However, the analyst in me does a cost/benefit analysis (Shelly - quit laughing right now) and says, "is it worth not spending this time with my daughter?" Sometimes the answer is and will be yes and other times it will be no. I need to accept that.

On a positive, Navarre is so social and easy going right now that there was absolutely no problem with her going to the sitter's house. She even said we were lucky and she would take 20 babies like Navarre. I have to think that is partly due to luck and that Jamie and I have done a few things right in the short 22 months she's been breathing both in- and outside of me. So, props to us.

We're trying to get used to this new normal for our family. Up at 6 every morning; both of us trying to get ready for the day and getting her ready. Me dropping her off in the morning and Jamie picking her up. It's occurred to me that I have a tkd class tomorrow night at 6 and will not be home in between work and class. So, she will be asleep and I will not see her after about 8:30 tomorrow morning. I think I need my class for my own sanity though. Momma needs to practice her Jumping Reverse Spin Back Kick.

Unfortunately, the new normal in Baton Rouge has been hot, damaged, leaking houses and no gasoline to buy in the city, no place to go after 8 pm and no football on Saturday in Tiger Stadium. It's funny to think an image of a football stadium can bring about so much emotion, but this picture does it for me. I mean how can a place where there is NEVER chance of rain suffer from a hurricane? I don't know.